You Know...

when you go through something, but no one else is going through it that you can talk to (or they don't want to talk about it)...

so you just go through it alone

or don't deal with it at all

forgetting about it even?

and...

then that something blows up in your face...

first because you couldn't go through it alone

which then you never dealt with it

and now can't get out of your head...or your heart?

and then...

hurt

pain

anger

etc

rush in like a storm and a flood, overwhelming you and you think you might drown

and since no one has been going through this with you

no one understands and can help?

so...

you go through healing on your own

you go through forgiveness on your own

you go through restoration on your own

again...alone?

then after its all over and complete...

everyone you wanted to talk to but couldn't starts to go through it...

together?

and...

as you watch and listen

you see that its not going to turn out like it did for you

its going to work out for them and they don't have to go through the hurt and the pain?

but yet...

you get to watch and listen to it all

trying you best to be happy for them

standing once again not on the same page

or book for that matter

but in what your going through yet again...alone?

this has been the endless cycle of my life for the past two years

not going to lie

it hasn't been easy

and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

but harder and harder.